


A Life Forgiven

by Lily_Winchester



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-01-18 20:51:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12395991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Winchester/pseuds/Lily_Winchester
Summary: Briarlight is barely over her injuries, and she is still determined that she is useless, that was until Jayfeather took a step in. Worried about his patient not healing well, he took her out of her depression and back to her old self.And now Briarlight's feelings are now in the way of the warrior code and her heart.





	1. A Life Not Worth Living

A brown she-cat lay in a nest made of moss. She sighed heavily as she looked at her useless hindquarters draped uncomfortably on the side of the nest. her tail hung limply over the side of her nest and she tried to grab it with her teeth and drag it back to it's natural position, only to be stopped by her short neck. She knew her blue eyes gave away every emotion she was feeling right now, Anger at the tree who had crushed her and Longtail, Sadness at the fact she was useless and couldn't enjoy a patrol anymore, and despair at the fact that she had been saved only to live half a life. She closed her eyes as she heard Dovewing and Bumblestripe pass by, and her depression welled in her throat heavier than ever. She had forgot about the fact she would never have a mate or kits now, due to the fact that she couldn't feel pain in her hindquarters _if_ she ever had a mate, which was impossible now. She nearly jumped out of her fur as she heard a voice in her ear, "If you don't start eating, I _will_ do everything in my power to get you do it, even _if_ it means getting Mousefur to sit on you, or getting Firestar to come in and order you to eat." She turned to meet the clouded sightless eyes of the person who saved her life. Jayfeather had been the one to find her in the wreckage, an apprentice then, and brought her to the way she was. "Jayfeather," She began, the scent of the vole he had brought tempting her hunger, "You don't understand! My life as a warrior is ruined! I can't hunt, I can't fight, and I most definately cannot patrol for my clan! I'm a waste of space and prey! I don't understand why you saved me! I don't want to live anymore so what was the point of wasting your precious herbs!" She immediately regretted her spill, as she saw Jayfeather flinch in hurt, before his tabby fur ruffled up in anger. "You are not a waste of prey! If I had known that you would have been this way, I _wouldn't_ have saved you! All you do is whine and complain about not being a warrior when I _could have been one_ but gave it up for my clan! So suck it up! I don't get a 'Jayfeather! Thanks for saving my life!' all you think about is you! For one moment take the time and think of other's who risked everything to keep you alive!" She watched helplessly as the blind tom stomped out of the den, completely cutting off Brackenfur and hissing at Leafpool when she asked what was wrong. Leafpool looked over at Briarlight, and saw that her fur was ruffled up. Understanding lit the she-cat's eyes, and she hurried over. "What's wrong Briarlight? Why is Jayfeather so upset?" Briarlight made her best effort to hide her anger by slowly lowering her neck fur, and looking up at the ex-medicine cat in despair. "Jayfeather tried to get me to eat," The brown she-cat's meow was emotionless, as she thought about what the tom had said, "Then we both said things that-that shouldn't have been said, and he yelled at me then stormed off, I don't know where he went after that." The brown tabby's eyes lit up in understanding, "That happened to me and Cinderpelt once." The tabby fell silent as she thought about the last time she had seen her mentor with out the gray cat dying. "I can-" "I'll go" Briarlight cut the cat off. "I know he'll ignore me until I have an apology ready, or he'll ignore me until he feels it's fit. It'll be better if he hears this from me..." The brown cat lifted her head off her paws, and got her front paw muscles ready as she heaved herself across the camp very slowly, and made her way to the thorn barrier. She dragged her way around the forest, sniffing her way to the blind tom, until she saw him by the lake, flexing his claws on a stick with thousands of claw marks in it. "Jayfeather?" Briarlight approached the tom cautiously. His ears pricked, and he turned to her, his ears flat to his head in shame. "Briarlight! I'm so sorry! I never regretted saving you, it's just, I thought you would make all this work got to waste, and I'm desperately trying to save the clan with everything on my back, and-" "Jayfeather, you don't need to apologize, I shouldn't have egged you on. all you wanted was for me to be well and all I succeeded in was upsetting you even though you care. It's me who should really be sorry.." She shuffled her paws in the grass as the gray tom's ears pricked, and he drew near her. "I'm so glad we're friends again." he breathed. The she-cat nodded, her thoughts clouded with a certain tom's face and scent. _No Briarlight! You are a warrior, and you abide by the warrior code! You can't see a medicine cat in this way!_ She knew her thoughts wouldn't make a change to anything she felt for the cranky tom. Her heart was set back to the days when they used to be best friends in the apprentices den, and she remembered telling herself the exact same thing. _It seems my heart takes refuge in the same place._ __She laughed at herself inwardly. _You called yourself a warrior._ As the cat leaned into the older tom's embrace, she felt her heart lighten, and she licked the small tom's ear, getting a purr out of him. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life can be your worst enemy at times.

A Life Forgiven  
Chapter Two

Briarlight stretched to reach the moss ball again, while Jayfeather sorted some Yarrow from Borage. "Nice job! Try again," Alderpaw meowed encouragingly. She sighed, "how many more? My neck is tired and the hunting party jut came back with some prey." 

Alderpaw glanced at Jayfeather for confirmation and nodded back to her. Dragging herself out the nest, she made it halfway out of the den, before she got stuck on a rock from the medicine cave. She wiggled her paw free with determination and hungrily pushed her body forward with her front paws. 

"Briarlight!" Millie pushed through the crowd around fresh pile. "We have so much to tell you! First off, me and Graystripe have decided to have one more litter before we retire as elders. Second, Dovewing moved to the nursery expecting Bumblestripe's kits!" Millie meowed excitedly, not noticing Briarlight flinching in hurt at her mother's obliviousness. 

"Have you seen Blossomfall's kits yet? They're the cutest little creatures ever! Shellkit is my personal favorite. Yours?" Millie asked with a sparkle in her eyes. "I can't even get to the FRESHKILL PILE without being out of breath! How do you expect me to get to the nursery to see people mooning over the things I've LOST because my hind quarters are CRIPPLED!" Briarlight cried, tears streaming down her face. 

Wishing her back legs worked, she breathlessly hauled herself to the thorn barrier and into the forest. Her vision was blurred, and her face was damp with tears and rain coming from the sky. "StarClan why have you forsaken me?!" She wailed. 

In exhaustion, she fell in a pile of wet moss and fell into a troubled sleep. 

"Briarlight?!" Jayfeather wailed, scrambling through wet leaves and damp twigs. 'Where are you?' He wailed internally. "If only she knew.." He whispered. "If who knew what? Jayfeather what's going on?" He looked up to see the ginger clan deputy staring at him. 

"Just leave me alone!" He yowled, and scrambled in the other direction. He paused when his paw made contact with a damp lump of fur. "Briarlight?" He whispered. The cat yawned, and got up. "Hmm..? Wha--Jayfeather?! I-uh-oh my StarClan-I-I'm so sorry!" She sputtered. 

He nuzzled her, and purred. When she gave him an odd look, he backed away. 'Control yourself. You don't know how she feels yet!' He cursed himself internally. "Where have you been? Millie is worried sick, and I can't have a queen her age in this state! Wait--Did she..?" Her fur brushed up and down against his muzzle. 

"Doesn't she know about these things? She visits so often it's hard to believe she doesn't," Jayfeather growled. 'That insensitive good for nothing flea-brained, fox-hearted little-' "Jayfeather...is there even the smallest chance I can at least have a mate and...I know it's not going to be possible, but kits?" He paused, his heart thudding. 

'Littlecloud never said no...but he didn't say yes either...' "Maybe. It is quite possible that you could carry kits and get a mate...but there's the other chance that you could have a mate and are..." He gulped, "unable to conceive." 

Briarlight lowered her gaze. 'I know what the real answer is. It's very clear. As clear as day to be honest.' She thought, heartbroken. She sighed and moved very slowly in the direction of camp. Her joints were aching from the rain and cold, and her stomach was turning in on itself. 

"Briarlight! You're safe! I don't know what happened, but Millie deserves an apology. Now," Bramblestar greeted her. 'Nice warm welcome home.' Briarlight thought, she was becoming more like Jayfeather every second. Pulling herself to the nursery, she panted, and almost collapsed. 'Gotta do it.' She thought with determination. 

"Millie?" She called in weakly. "Briarlight? Is that you? Briarlight! You had me so worried! What was that episode you just had? You've been with Jayfeather far too long," Millie remarked. "Did I ask you to choose my friends? My life? NO. That wasn't an episode! It's called depression far more than yours. All you and my siblings talk about is KITS and MATES. THAT PART OF MY LIFE IS gone!" Briarlight sobbed. 

Millie backed away. "I didn't know...I...didn't think about you as much as I should've I...need to go..." Millie gasped. 'What's wrong with-' "Is that any apology? I come to check on you and this is what I see? Pure disrespect! I would make you an apprentice again if I could, but this is far beyond that. Control yourself and your emotions. Millie does that, you can too," Bramblestar meowed chillingly. 

Briarlight felt like crying she scrambled away as fast as she could on two paws, and managed to escape to the training hollow. She felt breathless, and she was confused as to how. 'I got farther before. Many times before. What's wrong with me?' Shouting came from inside the camp, and she thought she caught a flash of red, but exhaustion and pain kept her from fighting back on whatever was hurting her. 

"Briarlight!" She heard a horrified shriek, and she saw a flash of gray tabby fur and ginger fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that chapters have been comin out slower recently. This is your guys' christmas/hanuaka late-present, so I hope you enjoy
> 
> School might be delayed thursday where I live, so you all might get a surprise(late present surprise in honor of the holidays)! Hope you all enjoy.


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